Do you find yourself not accomplishing any of the goals you set? Could it be possible that you are standing in your own way? This is referred to as self-sabotage, and many of us are guilty of it without even knowing it. The subconscious mind is a powerful thing and there to keep you safe and comfortable. Anytime you try to break out of your comfort zone, your subconscious mind goes on high alert and starts yelling danger…this does not feel safe!
Over time, you can gain a negative inner dialogue that positions you are a failure who can’t accomplish anything you set out to do, so why even try? According to Psychology Today, this type of thinking or behavior is officially self-sabotaging when it creates problems in daily life and interferes with your standing goals. Of course, this isn’t good for you on any level, be it in your professional or personal life, which is why it is essential to learn how to identify when it is happening and intervene immediately.
This article will help you identify self-sabotage and how you can stop yourself from doing it.
How to Identify Self-Sabotage
Ever find yourself putting things off till the very last minute? That you have to wait till you feel it’s the right time to complete something? This is procrastination and will stop your goals in their tracks. By waiting for the perfect moment, you are standing in your own way of feeling good because you accomplished something and also leaving room for better things to come your way.
2. Negative Inner Dialogue
After not accomplishing your goals, it is really easy for that voice inside your head to go the negative route. I mean, haven’t you proven time and time again that you can’t accomplish what you set out to do? Sounds silly, right? Remember, you have control over your thoughts. Being more mindful will help you become aware of these damaging patterns.
Wanting to be the perfect wife/husband, mother/father, son/daughter, friend will only lead you to a lifetime of agony. No one, and I repeat, no one is perfect. It’s just not possible. It will only lead to feelings of disappointment in yourself and disappointment in others because you expect them to be perfect. This is not a realistic way to live, and you are only setting yourself up for failure.
How to Stop Self-Sabotage
1. Remember Your Self-Worth
You are a unique and talented person. There is no one else like you on this earth. If you feel like you are suffering from self-sabotage, sit yourself down with a notebook and write out these thoughts. Now go back and read them aloud and write down the opposite. Remember, your subconscious will try and keep you where you are comfortable, even if it is not suitable for you. You have to consciously make an effort to change those thoughts and make it a habit to do so daily.
2. Face Those Fears
When you get into why you procrastinate, you will often find that it is because of fear. When you are in full-on self-sabotage mode, your biggest fear is that you will not be able to accomplish what you set out to. Again, please write down your fears and then really study them. Often you will find that fear is all it is…nothing more, and that you have nothing to be afraid of. It’s just your subconscious freaking out.
3. Gain a Positive Perspective
This is going to take work on your part and daily practice. When you hear those negative thoughts in your head, write them down. Then write the opposite, and daily, as many times as you have to, read the opposite out loud. You have to train your subconscious to be positive.
Many people out there suffer from self-sabotage, but remember, it is never too late to make changes to better yourself.