Quality time love language: what it is and how to speak it.
While there is no tried-and-true technique to keep a relationship happy and healthy, knowing your partner’s love language, as well as how you like to give and receive love, can go a long way toward keeping you connected.
These signs of affection include physical touch, words of affirmation, acts of service, gifts, and quality time, and here we will be focusing on the latter.
Someone who speaks the quality time love language values togetherness over words, deeds, touch, and presents. So, what exactly is QT, and how do show it? More on that ahead.
What Is Quality Time?
Quality time is the fifth of Gary Chapman’s five love languages, and it revolves around togetherness. It’s all about giving your full attention to your partner while spending dedicated time together. To do so, you must rid yourself of all distractions — phone, email, TV, etc. — and focus completely on your partner.
“Nothing says ‘I love you’ like full, undivided attention from those you love,” Gary Chapman, Ph.D., the marriage counselor who developed the love language theory, explained to mbg. “Whether it’s spending uninterrupted time talking with someone else or doing activities together, you deepen your connection with others through sharing time.”
People whose love language is quality time believe that time is a finite resource, so spending time together is extremely important, more so than affirmations, affection, or gifts. They will often try to plan special dates, set aside time to talk, and may even schedule sex. And because they will often feel disconnected and lonely when they don’t spend enough time with their partner, it’s important to set out time specifically for them.
How to Speak the Quality Time Love Language
If you want to show your partner that you care and their language is Quality Time, keep the following things in mind.
Schedule Time Together
Yes, spontaneity and adventure are wonderful, but those who value quality time will appreciate the effort and dedication you put into scheduling time together. It demonstrates that you are willing to make time in your busy schedule for them. Plus, when your quality time is organized, it shows that you are committed. On that note, postponed activities or dates upset people whose love language is quality time, so it’s important to follow through on your plans.
Establish a Daily Routine
It’s likely that you and your partner have very different schedules, making it impossible to connect during the day and give each other the time you both deserve. Establishing a daily routine during which you spend intentional time together will be beneficial. This could be as simple as snuggling in bed before getting up for the day or cooking dinner together at night after work.
Be in the Moment
It’s simple: Stop everything else. When your partner feels like you are distracted or not giving them your undivided attention, it can be especially hurtful. While we often want to make the most out of every minute, now’s now the time to multitask. Put the phone down, save the emails for another time, set aside other obligations. Simply being present with each other, even if it’s just for five minutes over a cup of coffee, confirms your love.
Show Your Interest
Because quality time is all about presence, showing that you are interested in what your partner is doing, saying or feeling is key. Try to maintain eye contact when you’re having a conversation, give signs that you are listening and engaged, and respond in a way that makes them feel heard. Someone whose primary love language is quality time is looking to connect in the moments that are spent together.
The Bottom Line
If you think you or your partner may be speaking the language of quality time, plan a date night as soon as possible and savor every moment. It’s as simple as that!