There are lots of positive things about being in your 30s. One study has found that people are the happiest at age 33. Another study found that friendships formed after the age of 30 are more enduring. All that being said, being a single woman in your 30s can be tough for many, particularly when everyone around you is getting married or having babies while society is pressuring you to do the same.
Still, there are many advantages to being uncoupled at this time in your life. “The human brain doesn’t fully finish developing until around age 27, which means you’re spending much of your 20s growing and trying to figure out who you are and the path you want to forge. That’s why being single in your 30s is actually ideal,” says Tennesha Wood, a dating coach, matchmaker, and founder of The Broom List.
“Thanks to options like egg freezing, more women are opting to delay relationships and marriage and focus on their own growth and well-being. The path that was once less traveled has become the ideal for many women in their 30s,” she explains. She also cites things such as increased self-awareness, career freedom, the ability to be selfish, and knowing exactly what you want when dating all as major pros.
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Turns out, it tracks. We asked women in their 30s to share the best part about being single. And while, yes, many said it’s not all fun and games, their “pros” echoed Wood’s perspective and all hit a similar note. Here’s what they had to say.
The Best Things About Being Single In Your 30s
1. The freedom
“I love not answering to anyone. I can travel and have my own schedule, and I get to be as selfish as I want right now in my life. I’m also an introvert so when my ex and I broke up, I immediately felt the relief that comes with having my own time and space. Of course, there are cons to being single, but I really love the single life and am not looking to change that anytime soon.”
2. The independence
“I love being 100% independent and confident in that. The independence is invaluable—and in my opinion, being single really helps you learn who you are, even more so in your 30s.”
3. The spontaneity
“The freedom to be spontaneous and go on many adventures that come my way. That and the ability to put all my energy towards things that make ME happy as I solve my own personal equation.”
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4. The strength you build
“I’ve been impressed with my independence and strength, without having a partner to lean on for support…or help me put together furniture. You never realize how strong you are until you’re forced to be.”
5. The ability to nurture other relationships
“I can live my own life how I want without consulting a partner. I’m free to explore, travel, and spend time with friends and family. I’ve also been able to prioritize friendships and develop deeper ones because I’m not splitting my time. Of course, I wish I had someone to share it with, but it’s nice living to my own beat.
6. The options
“When I was in relationships in my early 20s, it was just assumed that I’d get married and that was the answer. Now that I’m single in my 30s, it’s up to me to figure out what the next step will be and what life path I’ll take.”
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7. The ability to focus on your career
“I’ve worked really hard to get where I am in my career, and I’m not finished climbing the ladder. Being single has allowed me to really put in the time and work needed to reach my goals at work. It allows me to play hard after hours, too!”
8. The financial freedom
“I have more money and I’m beholden to no one. It’s like Destiny’s Child so eloquently said, ‘I buy my own diamonds and I buy my own rings.’ I do what I want, when I want.”
9. The alone time
“I like my independence and having the freedom to do what I want, to travel and spend as I please, without having to ask permission or justify a thing. Sometimes that freedom does get old, but I do love my alone time and the fact that I can watch Bravo with a glass of wine any night and no one will tell me I can’t.”
10. The time to find out what you want in a partner
“Truly knowing what I need—and value—in a partner. Having a deeper and better sense of self that’s come as I’ve gotten older has made it so much more clear to me what I want from a guy. It’s helped me figure out early on if a relationship does or doesn’t have potential, without me having to waste my time.”
11. The ability to appreciate no-strings-attached
“In my 20s, I was always overthinking every date or hook-up. Now, I can differentiate between fun sex and real feelings. I’ve really grown into my sexuality, I know what I want and how to communicate it, and so I can really enjoy a no-strings-attached relationship.”
12. The lack of drama
“Freedom! Independence! No BS and no drama!” Amen to that.